Muggle studies: Popular sports and Beverages
by 1Gabs
Summary: What happens when Fred and George try to teach Ron about muggle culture? Throw in beer, pool, rowdy football fans,four enormous turkeys and you have a recipe for disaster! And why is it pool cues don't make good wands? PLEASE REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any Harry Potter concepts or characters, I am merely borrowing them, hopefully for the entertainment of others and trying to throw in a few ideas of my own. I am not making a profit in any way by writing this story! It's just for fun and hopefully for people to tell me they like the story! Comments are always welcome, nice and constructive. Please don't flame me, I'm an inexperienced practicing writer and if you don't like the story you don't have to read it! Also note I'm an Australian so if I use any funny words you know why.

Note: This story took a different direction then I expected. I started off with a fluffy 'Ron meets the muggles' kind of humour story, but it developed into something more serious with a look at the characters and how they might be feeling after the events of OOTP. Anyway I hope you like it, this is my first attempt at a humour story too so I hope it qualifies!…………

**Due to a comment made by one of my reviewers and out of respect for them and the culture of the story I have written, I have once more updated this story to fix some errors that we made on my behalf! Most importantly SOCCER is called FOOTBALL in England! Also the game Billiards is called Pool in England! **

**Thank you 'Weaslyless' for your advice, I hope I have amended all mistakes:-)**

**Here's the story**

………………

Chapter One- For the want of a feather a bird was plucked….

If someone were to assign blame for the events that happened on this day it would greatly depend on your point of view. However in the interest of saving time and pointing fingers (or wands for that matter), it would be best to start at the beginning and the suggestion that sparked the crazy events that occurred on this day.

"Feathers?" George frowned at the list Fred had given him of potion ingredients.

"Where in Diagon Alley am I going to find feathers at this time of morning?" He lazily scanned the area as if expecting a bird to drop from the sky into his hands, as no birds were forthcoming however, he headed toward the Owl Emporium only to be stopped by Mundungas slamming into him from around the corner.

"Mundungas, you could be the man for this type of job" George handed him the list, trying to ignore the curiosity that had drawn his eyes to Mundungas's bag. He wasn't the type of person to encourage questions.

"Feathers?" Mundungas rolled his eyes.

"Give me a challenge why don't ya? Here take these, genuine, first class quality. Etcetera, Etcetera" George grinned, not even caring about the extravagance he of course was charged for the purchase. He and Fred had been working on their latest invention for the last few weeks and finally the time had arrived for the experimental phase. Working off an idea they had seen once, while visiting a muggle party (this being a rousing rendition of the chicken dance), they had decided to invent a sweet that once swallowed would cause the consumer to quack like and act like a chicken.

Fred was sure this would go down very well at Hogwarts and so they planned to convince their parents to allow Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny to stay with them for the rest of the day after they had purchased their school supplies.

Surprisingly the agreement was made, under the stern condition that Bill be sort to accompany them home at night. After saying goodbye to their parents he and Fred had told them all that they would meet them over at the Leaky Cauldron later that afternoon. By this time the 'chicken chuckers' (the name also being in it's beginning test phase) would be ready for trail and should provide an interesting afternoons entertainment.

At least this had been the plan, until he and Fred arrived at the Leaky Cauldron with their finished product, to find Seamus Flannigan dressed all in white and jabbering excitedly about the World Cup Final against France.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:- An introduction to Muggle sports and hobbies

Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny wondered through Diagon Alley together having been left to amuse themselves without getting into or causing trouble. Since having left Fred and George's shop at noon they had run across various other students coming and going through the stores to pick up their own school supplies. Luna joined them carrying a copy of the Quibbler and read a few amusing stories that kept them laughing for quite sometime. Harry secretly enjoyed the one about the muggle who 'apparently' found a wizard wand and chased people down the street trying to turn them into toads. They were interrupted by Ron calling out "Oiy, who or what is that?"

From a distance it appeared that what was approaching them from the far side of the street was white, and moving rather fast. They soon discovered it was Seamus Flannigan dressed in his team's colours, who was rushing over to tell them that England was playing France in the World Cup Final.

"You want to come Harry?" He glanced at Ron with an apologetic smile.

"I know you wouldn't, you probably don't even know what football is right?"

"Of course I know what football is" Ron snapped indignantly, ignoring the sniggers coming from Ginny.

"They're showing it on the tele at the pub across the street" Ron looked confused, unsure as to what exactly a tele or a pub actually were. Hermione and Ginny both laughed outright at his expression.

"Seamus, Ron wouldn't know what football was if he fell over the game in the middle of the street, and besides, we can't go parading about the Muggle world with things the way they are". Ginny told him before either Ron or Harry could answer him any differently.

"Suit yourself" Seamus shrugged, heading off in the direction of the Leaky Cauldron. "I'm not missing this for anything". Harry tried to give an annoyed looking Ron a quick explanation of what football was, hoping to take his mind off Hermione and Ginny's teasing. Unfortunately Ginny was enjoying herself far too much, and feeling rather vindictive of his comments about Dean earlier this morning, she decided to have a little fun of her own.

"So what is football Ron?" She asked sweetly, smiling up innocently at her brother.

"Have you ever been to a match?" Hermione was looking at him with wide eyes, wondering if it was possible he would find such a muggle sport interesting.

"Ah, its…." He stammered, looking helplessly at Harry who muttered.

"The players kick the ball through the net" while pretending to cough.

"Of course I've been to……." he fumbled quickly, enthused by Hermione's interest, but being saved by Harry who nudged him hard at the start of his lie. Unfortunately this was too much for Ginny.

"Didn't Victor invite you to watch a game in Bulgaria Hermione?" Ginny asked, loud enough for Ron to hear. Harry cringed when he saw the anger flash through his friend's face and silently wished Ginny had picked a topic that had a less explosive effect on Ron.

"He what?" Ron snapped, turning suddenly on Hermione. Hermione met him unflinchingly, gazing at him with an innocent expression.

"Victor asked me if I wanted to come with him to a football match last summer" she repeated softly, her eyes challenging him.

"Why would you want to go anywhere near that….that….. "Ron spluttered, casting around desperately to find the right word.

"Unlike some people, Victor doesn't find all muggle sports pointless! He wanted to learn more about it". Ron was now red faced and shaking with fury. He didn't know why he was so angry. He didn't know why Victor Krum writing to Hermione made his gut twist until he felt quite ill, and finally he did not understand what she saw in this arrogant obnoxious git.

"I do NOT think all muggle sports are pointless" he shot back angrily.

"Can you name one apart from football?" Ginny chided, not fully comprehending the extent of Ron's touchiness on this subject. He transferred a murderous glare towards her and Harry began to worry when the wands were going to appear.

"Come on Ron it's not that big a deal" He said quietly.

"Tell me Ron, why does it bother you so much what Victor is interested in?" Ginny's words were the last straw. After another murderous glance he turned around, heading in the direction Seamus had just gone.

"I'm going to see what Fred and George are doing". He hated himself for walking away from them like a prat, but he didn't trust himself to speak without either doing further damage or telling her the truth. And he wasn't quiet sure which one was worse. Having lived in the wizarding world all his life there wasn't too much that Ron had been exposed to by way of learning about the world outside of magic, until he met Harry and Hermione. Although he wouldn't admit this to anyone but since having met Hermione he had been taking a lot more interest in the muggle world since then.

He'd even taken to asking his father about different muggle artefacts that he'd brought home from work, and was reading a book that he kept well hidden from certain other members of his family that would roar with laughter if they only knew. 'Somehow I just look like more of an idiot no matter what I do". He thought with disgust as reached the Leaky Cauldron and found that Fred and George were also being asked by Seamus to join him in watching the football match. Unlike Ron, Fred and George were immediately amenable to the idea, exclaiming something about having subjects to test upon.

Against his better judgement Ron was soon convinced to join the group, his hesitations squashed by annoyance and a desire to prove himself capable of learning the ways of the muggle world. Besides, it was only across the road, and it was only a pub. What kind of trouble could people possibly get into at a pub watching a football game?...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three:- Just how much trouble can three Weasleys get into at a pub?

Tonks stood at the entrance to Diagon Alley having just come from a search of the Leaky Cauldron. From where she stood she could see Harry, Hermione, Ginny and another girl she recognised from the meeting at the ministry last year. Luna she believed the name was. She had been with them in the fight at the ministry; she had been there when….

'Snap out of it Tonks you have a job to do' she scolded herself angrily, turning her concentration once more to the group in front of her. They all had their orders; just because she didn't believe _someone_ should be sent_ somewhere_, didn't mean she had to like it….. She groaned silently, fighting back the emotions welling inside her. He was fine. She'd spoken to him today, having both been in conversation with Molly and Arthur before everyone returned to school for the year. He wasn't going back to that place for at least another few days, another few days she had to try and convince him…..

'Ron' she realised looking up suddenly as she frowned into the distance, her eyes focusing on the group once more. Ron wasn't with them. Now where had he got to? He was with them less then two hours ago and she hadn't been gone that long. 'Oh for crying out loud'. First she had misplaced Fred and George and now Ron was missing. The whole think stunk of some sort of mischief but she had no idea what.

She weighed her options, if there was a problem he'd said to call him. Remus would come, and maybe then she'd have more time to talk to him. Then again she hated to have anyone think she couldn't handle her work, especially him. Where had those boys got to now?

She watched anxiously as Luna left the other three and they made their way towards her. Each of them looked rather subdued. Hermione looked sad and deep in thought. She couldn't help thinking about Ron and how angry he got whenever Victor was mentioned. She hated to see the anger in his eyes and know that it was directed towards her. What she hated even more was that he wouldn't admit to her and perhaps even not himself why Victor made him so angry. Yet she didn't have the confidence herself to tell him that Victor was not someone he should be worried about, because if Victor didn't make him angry for the reason she hoped…. She didn't even want to think what it would do to their friendship.

Ginny was looking rather annoyed, and from where Tonks was standing it almost looked like she was arguing with Harry, which did seem out of the ordinary. Harry too looked peeved and rather anxious. Teenagers, thought Tonks with a smile.

"Hey Tonks" Harry didn't look that surprised to see her, in fact he looked rather relieved.

"We were just coming to meet Ron, Fred and George…." He trailed off as he studied the expression on her face.

"Is everything ok?" He asked her, looking at her with those incredibly perceptive eyes that had the effect of making her feel like they were piercing right into her soul. She sucked in her breath unsure of what to do. Telling them could potentially cost more drama then she was willing to cause at this time, but still, it was Fred and George and there was no telling what mischief they had gotten up to.

"I don't want you to worry" Famous last words she thought sardonically as she said it, and immediate fear crossed through each face.

"Fred, George and Ron have momentarily evaded my vision" she trailed off as the other three followed her into the undoubtedly empty Leaky Cauldron.

Hermione frowned at the empty room as if studying it for clues, her face showing the same expression she used when contemplating a particularly difficult classroom question.

"They went to the pub with Seamus" She realised with a sudden feeling of uneasiness. It was something Fred and George would definitely do, and under their influence, in his current state of mind she had no doubt that Ron would have gone with them.

"Well….." Tonks couldn't help a small smile of relief. Boys would be boys…. And the twins would always be the twins….

"Well they can't get into too much trouble can they?" She trailed off as Seamus choose that moment to came bolting through the door of the Leaky Cauldron, a very panicked vision of red with a face to match. He stopped with surprise when he saw Tonks but turned quickly to Hermione and Harry, unsure of how to put his particular predicament.

"Um, I think someone should come… Fred and George…. Ron really needs… " he trailed off, still gasping hard from his run. Harry moved in closer to him.

"What happened?" He demanded, trying to understand Seamus's gasping explanation. Seamus looked to Hermione for help, unsure of who was the least likely to do him damage here.

"It was Fred and George's idea…. They thought it would be funny… I mean it was kind of funny…. Ron said he wanted to know what muggles do at a football game…. But it kinda got out of hand……." he trailed off trying not to snort with laughter. "He's not handling it very well…... Oh and Fred and George accidentally turned four muggles into giant turkeys, but they think the spell will wear off eventually". he added as an after thought.

Harry, Hermione, Ginny and Tonks stood staring at each other trying to digest the information just given to them. Hermione looked dangerously close to cursing Seamus but instead turned to Tonks who was looking quite lost.

"I am going to get Ron" She said offering no room for objection. Ginny opened her mouth, but after searching Hermione's face she seemed satisfied with the decision, which left her with the job of restraining Harry.

"Harry and I will get Bill, he said he was coming here early to get some potion ingredients" She cut off Harry's protest by grabbing his arm and pulling him back towards Diagon Alley. Tonks watched them go with the feeling of someone completely loosing control of a situation. She turned on the hapless Seamus with an expression that terrified him for weeks to come.

"If I hear one word about this reaching Hogwarts school I will turn you into an animal the likes of which you can't even imagine!".


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four:- "The rules of the roost"

Ron stared around him with wide eyes and mouth agape as they entered the pub, his eyes assaulted by a mass of white and blue.

"Bloody hell, do all muggles have to wear the same colour at these places?" He asked Seamus after he finally managed to distinguish him from amidst the rest of the sea of white.

"It's the teams colour you prat! England wears white, France wears blue! Come on lets get a seat close to the screen". Laughed Seamus, indicating to Ron that they should find a seat among the other muggle fans that were packed in around the room. There was a mass of muggles sitting around benches and tables all wearing white and holding large mugs of a strange looking amber fluid. The muggles would break out into shouting and cheering or cursing on a whim, as they all watched the large screens which showed little men running around after a ball. Just like Harry had explained it.

"That's all they do? Kick the ball with their foot?" Ron asked Seamus, trying to be heard over the noise.

"How do they get the people in the screen anyway?"

"Ron, Ron, Ron" Fred shook his head in mock exasperation as he sat himself beside his younger brother.

"Der are so many tings that you must learn" He mocked, joining in with another roar of approval directed toward the game.

"What's the matter little brother? George and I couldn't help but notice you looked quite discombobulated when you stormed in and interrupted our experiments. Tell your loving brothers all about it and we will see what we can do to help. Can I offer you a sweet perhaps?".

Ron looked at the identical smirking faces before him with distrust. Previous experience had taught him that there was no point in discussing this sort of thing with his twin brothers.

"Get out of it" He growled, feigning interest in the game, trying very hard to ignore Fred's indignant exclamations. At the very least they should know better than to think he'd ever be a genie pig for one of their experiments….at least not willingly.

"I'm hurt. George did you ever imagine our youngest, our dearest, most cared for brother would treat us with such disrespect, such irreverence, such…."

"Would you stop being a prat" Demanded Ron in exasperation. "I just wanted to know, ya know, about….. muggle stuff". He decided risking his dignity and self respect which had pretty much already been shot this morning, might draw their attention away from experimenting on him. His ears were burning as Fred and George let out a howl of laughter, and Fred clapped him mirthfully on the back.

"Forget it"

"No little brother, forgive our heartless reaction. You came to us with a problem, and we would be most happy to teach you in the ways of being a muggle".

"Riiiiighht" Ron wondered if flight was a possibility at this time, because Fred and George were grinning at him in a way that was almost evil. Further waring bells went off in Ron's head as Fred winked at George, who got up and brought over a large berley football fan with a head of shaggy grey hair pulled back in a pony tail and a large jug of the amber ale many of the muggles were drinking in his hand.

"This is Joe" George smiled affectionately at the muggle.

"Joe is one of our favourite cough test subjects. Total muggle and avid football fan. Right Joe?". Joe responded with a laugh as he raised his drink to the twins.

"You not from around er' either mate? These two er' r from outta town too. Keep coming in er' and ask'en me to try their food. Not they I mind eh' mates".

"You test out your stuff on a muggle?" Ron gaped at his brothers his bad feeling growing worse when they got up, saying to Joe before leaving "Ron's knows nothing about the game of football Joe. He wants to learn all about it in detail! See if you can teach our innocent brother what football is all about".

George shook with laughter as he looked back at the horrified expression on Ron's face.

"What have we done? That man will teach him everything about the game right down to the length they grow the grass on the field".

"Well, it should satisfy Ron's curiosity about muggles for the next couple of years, and give him some knowledge to brag about to Harry and Hermione. Besides, with Ron and Seamus currently occupied we can use this time wisely to test the new prototype for the 'Chicken Chucka's'…..or should we call the 'Feathering Frenzy's?'. Anyway, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny know way better than to let us test this stuff on them. We need fresh meat…. No pun intended".

George shot a parting look at his brother who was currently being shown how to hold a mug in the air and shout "cheers" as England scored a goal. Fred caught his eye; "Will you quite worrying. You're getting almost careful in your old age George. We'll keep an eye on him, besides Joe is harmless".

"I've just never heard Ron come to us to ask for advice about muggle culture before".

"Hermione seems to have that effect on him" Laughed Fred. If Ron only knew that it was he that had left the book about muggle culture and history lying around for him to find… it would rein his reputation.

"Let Joe explain the game for a few minutes. Well try a couple of test subjects and then watch the rest of the game with him". George hid a smile, muttering softly something along the lines of 'whose the one getting soft?'………………


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five:- 'Cheers to England'

Ron took the next mug as Joe passed it and clinked his glass almost leaving Ron with a lap full of cold drink.

"Er, This is how it's done lad. Ya about as doppy as your brother's ain't ya?"

Then he yelled 'cheers' before gulping the entire contents of his own glass down his throat.

"Drink up mate, drinks are on the ouse"

"On the house?" In the first fifteen minutes of Joe's company Ron had endured a detailed explanation on the history, rules of the game and background of every single football player. This commentary was punctuated by Joe taking the time to roar hearty or annoyed comments at the players every minute or two. Fred and George were nowhere in sight, although at one point he could have sworn he saw Fred and George standing watching four men who were jumping around and clucking like ducks…. Then later he saw George chasing after what looked like an over sized turkey.

As he finished his drink he began to relax and soon resigned himself to the company of this muggle, gave up the questions and picked up the next drink placed in front of him as Joe had done, trying to gulp as much down without spilling the stuff all over him. The ale was cool and freshing and he was surprised at how easily the bitter tasting fluid went down his throat. Joe roared in approval and called two more of his buddies over to the table to play, what Joe explained to him, was "a muggle drinking game". Once more he was handed another mug of what these muggles called beer and was taught his next lesson in muggle studies.

It didn't take long before Ron had decided he liked these muggles. Joe was the man that kept passing him drinks, and all he had to do to make Joe happy was drink the beer as fast as he could before Joe had finished his own. At first this was done if England scored a goal, but as the game progressed the rules increased and this was done if a goal was scored by either team, a penalty was awarded, or a member of the opposing team was sent offside.

The game then evolved into something called 'fizzbuzz/apple/parsnip/turnip' where the goal seemed to be to say a word then the name of a vegetable. Speech became increasingly more difficult and generally ended in fits of laughter.

Then all he had to do was shout at the muggles on the screen when everyone else shouted. He was really getting the hang of this. The more he drank of the muggle drink the better he felt. All the worries of Voldermort just disappeared, there was no Voldermort, he wasn't involved in a war against the most evil wizard of all time. He was involved in yelling at the team on the screen. Because if he yelled loud enough with everyone else, they might score a goal and for some reason that was the best feeling in the world. Victor Krum no longer existed, Malfoy was permanently turned into a ferret and life as he knew it was bloody fantastic!

The game ended with much more cheering, hugging and drinking. Ron was unsure as to the reason behind having to saturate himself with so much liquid, but he was fitting in perfectly with the other muggles around him. In fact Ron felt so wonderful about the whole thing he was compelled to rise up on his chair and shout out

"To England" enthralled by the happy shouts his words produced.

Seamus, who until now had been mesmerised by the game, slowly became aware of what has happening around him. He almost fell off his own bar stool in shock as he saw Ron wobbling vicariously on top of a chair, a mug high in his hand yelling

"To England" then proceeding to knock back half the drink, the rest spilling all over him.

"Bloody hell" Seamus gulped. He searched the mass of overexcited and intoxicated fans finally finding a very annoyed looking Fred and George at the back of the pub near the bathrooms. Both were covered in feathers and were in the process of yelling rather angrily at each other.

"This is all your fault! Just what kind of bird feathers did you use? Those are MUGGLE birds! " Fred gestured wildly to what indeed looked like four oversized turkeys sitting in a row against the wall and squawking madly.

"I told you if you use normal bird feather's it's a lot harder to turn them back! Who knows how long it'll last for? And look at what that blasted animal did to my arm!".

"You told me! Your list said BIRD feathers! You didn't specify what kind you great prat!"

"Well what other type would you expect to find in the wizarding world George?" He stopped suddenly, suspicion dawning on his face.

"Where exactly did you get the feathers?"

"It was a feather brained scheme" George told him solemnly, trying desperately to keep his face straight.

"A beastly catastrophe. A bird brained idea"

"George" Fred growled warningly.

"I got the feathers from Mundangas", he admitted finally.

"He said they were a good deal"

"Mundangus thinks that exploding toilet seats are a good idea but you don't see us taking that advice"

"Hey" Seamus yelled finally trying to get their attention.

"Have you seen Ron?"

"Ron's fine. Joe is teaching Ron the finer points of football" Fred answered annoyed as George shot him a dark look.

"Joe is teaching Ron the finer points of getting completely sloshed!" The twin's stared at him in disbelief, moving quickly to find their brother.

"You know if you had of listened when I said not to mix the…"

"Don't start that again" George stopped short as Ron came into view. His mouth opened in surprise as his younger brother stood wobbling on a stool, surrounded by a mass of cheering muggles yelling out 'cheers to England, 'cheers to football' and finally a cheers to 'muggle studies'.

"Huh" Fred stood beside George torn between amusement, concern and what he felt was a slightly sadistic and uncalled for pride.

"So when our little brother came and sort our advice about learning muggle culture…."

"He was serious"

"So it would seem"

"Maybe we should have started off with the basics" Fred raised his eyebrows, shaking his head at the scene.

"It might have been wise to mention that some muggle drinks are more potent then others". George responded.

"I wasn't planning on spending the afternoon watching four men slowly turn into overgrown birds!".

"I told you not to start!".

"Two questions come to mind here. The least important question I can think of at this moment is just who is going to kill us the most for this?".

"It's a toss-up" George moved quickly as Ron suddenly wobbled dangerously and almost crashed to the floor.

"Ron are you ok?"

"Are you kidding" Ron stood up with assistance and grinned as Joe produced another mug for him.

"Look at me! I'm a muggle"

"To muggles" Yelled Joe, completely unaware of what a muggle was, but enjoying the saying, and Ron joined in the cheer with glee…………………

…………………………………………...

This was a suggested drinking game suggested to me by 'weaslyless' in their review!

………………………………………. Now on with the story……..


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six:- It's time like this you feel like you should be getting paid!

From where Remus was standing in Hogsmead he had a very clear view of his surroundings. The casual passer-by would not have had a good view of him, but that was how he liked it nowadays. He felt it was best to stay undercover rather than risk the pertinent questions and pointed looks. Not that he could avoid her questions, he mused, his face softening at the thought of a particular young woman who of late had been very concerned with his whereabouts. It hurt him to see her so concerned for him, but he was sure by staying away he was doing her a favour. While she may not see it now, she would have to appreciate it later, he was just too dangerous. She deserved the world, he thought, and he could never give her that. He was startled by a sharp crack and the object of his thoughts appeared suddenly looking frantically around for someone.

"Tonks?" He moved quickly towards her, startled out of hiding by the desperation he saw on her face.

"Are you ok"

"Oh Remus" she shrieked desperately, almost throwing her arms around him in relief and exasperation.

"What happened?".

"Oh lets see! I'm in charge of keeping an eye on the lot of them for one afternoon, and during that time Fred and George managed to go AWOL, Ron managed to experiment with muggle ale and get himself drunk and Hermione has gone off to deal with them all! Next thing you know Ginny and Harry will run off and get married just to make my day" She finished sarcastically.

Lupin listened with surprise and slight amusement as she related the story of what had happened, then pulled her to him trying to calm her down.

"Tonks teenagers will be teenagers. As for Fred and George, their pranks are harmless; they would never allow anything bad to happen to Ron".

"Don't you give me that 'those boys remind me of my wild and crazy youth running around with James and Sirius' speech because it just doesn't cut it! We are part of the order Remus. We have responsibilities! The danger to each of us…. No one should be taking chances".

"I know" He held her closer wishing they could stay like that together forever, but knowing that it just couldn't be.

"They're still very young Tonks. All of them are, they shouldn't have to deal with responsibilities such as they have at this age. They'll learn, it's just a part of growing up". Come to think of it he thought with a groan, 'we are all still too young to have to deal with these kinds of responsibilities'. He looked down at her and shook his head with an exasperated smile. I'll have a word to them Tonks, will that make you feel better?"

"Either that or hex them so they can't move until it's time to send them back to school". She muttered with a sigh.. …………….


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven:- A bird in the pub is worth…..more trouble than you can imagine!

Honestly, Hermione thought crossly as she marched across the street, unsure of who she wanted to injure the most. As she came into the pub that was packed with straggling fans still going through the last of their celebrations, it didn't take her long to find Ron's tall frame, his clothes being the only ones that weren't white, although he had somehow acquired a 'bobble hat' and scarf through the course of the afternoon.

He had gotten much taller she noticed over the summer, and Quittich seemed to have done the once wiry frame the world of good. She shook her head in exasperation, wanting to hug him for not being hurt, and at the same time wanting to hurt him for scaring her.

"Ronald Weasley what on earth have you been doing?" Ron's face lit up at the sight of her and he stumbled over, mug in hand, to give her a clumsy hug. Despite the twin's attempt to get Ron to leave, he had asked Joe to show him how to play this other strange game that other muggles in the pub were playing. It was a game where you attempted to move balls into pockets on the side of the table with what looked to him like an absurdly large wand. (Although as Joe explained to him that they called them cues in England). Ron had been pointing the 'wand' at a ball for the last minute in a desperate attempt to move it. The ball however remained unresponsive to his pleas. Fred and George who had posted themselves close by to watch were reduced to fits of laughter on the floor by the time Hermione found them.

"Fred, George" She shrieked angrily making them stand up quickly at once, still gasping with laughter.

"How could you! Of all the irresponsible….." She was cut off by Ron who enveloped her once more in a hug.

"Hermione! My favourite person in the whole world" He explained to Joe very carefully, because it was very important to him that Joe should understand this. Hermione took the mug from his hand, replacing it with her own hands and deliberately ignoring Fred's snickering.

"Ron what have you been doing?"

"I've been being a muggle" he stated proudly, speaking very slowly and carefully. "I figured you were right Hermione, I should know more about muggle things. And Joe here was showing me how a proper muggle football fan behaves! At this Joe grinned appreciatively and both cried out "To England!". Hermione had to hide a smile. He looked so extremely cute and proud of himself that she didn't have the heart to tell him off yet, nor to explain the full effect of what he'd been drinking.

"We shouldn't have left him that long" George explained quickly, having calmed down significantly and now feeling mildly concerned about what Hermione must be thinking of them.

"We had some problems with some turkeys…. long story" he muttered.

"By the time we got back Joe here had well and truly given Ron a lesson in muggle studies". Hermione looked at Ron in surprise, turning slightly pink at the idea that he'd gone to the trouble of trying to find out more about muggle culture after what she'd previously said to him.

"So do you think you could help us get him out of here now? He won't leave for us". Fred added, trying very hard not to grin at the look on her face. He appeased his teasing spirit by whispering "ain't they cute" to George when Hermione had turned her attention back to Ron.

"Ron please come back to the Leaky Cauldron with me" she moved in closer to him, instinctively knowing that gentleness was called for rather than anger and rebuking. He stared at her for what felt like forever, smiling down at her.

"You really are beautiful you know that" She couldn't help but smile, giving him a cheeky grin as she turned to help him swing his arm around her shoulders for support.

"Oh Gag me" Fred rolled his eyes unable to hide a smile though. If his little brother could be that smooth in his current state there was hope for him yet.

"You're not so bad looking yourself Ronald Weasley. Although you can be an awful lot of trouble".

"Its part of my Weasley charm" he paused for a moment as the fuzzy feeling in his head began to make him feel even more unsteady, and the room was beginning to move unpleasantly. As they moved past the next pool table Ron heard Fred mutter a curse, and the twins moved quickly to their side.

"Ah I think we better speed up the process of getting out of here. I think our turkeys just made themselves even uglier by turning back to their original state". Sure enough they were surrounded by four large and very angry looking biker men.

"Oh I liked you so much better as birds" Fred whispered.

"Where do you think you're going freaks" The biggest and the ugliest of the group stepped forward blocking Ron and Hermione from the exit. He stopped momentarily distracted to grin appreciatively at Hermione with a "Hey babe", moving close enough for her to smell his bad breath.

"Why don't you leave with a real man"

"I doubt very much that you qualify" Hermione responded without hesitation, feeling Ron's arm tighten around her.

"Leave it Ron, let's go" she whispered, a sinking feeling forming in the pit of her stomach as the rest of Fred and George's 'turkey friends' surrounded them completely.

"What's the hurry baby, you haven't given me a chance to prove myself yet"

"Back off" Ron pushed Fred aside to stand face to face with the leader.

"I don't think these dudes appreciated our 'chicken chukas" Fred muttered to Hermione who was beginning to look very pale.

"Do you have to cause trouble everywhere you go?" she snapped back at him, holding tighter to Ron's hand. Fred sized up the situation quickly, not at all liking the odds of these four that each had at least a 200pound advantage over each of them. Besides he didn't like the way his youngest brother was now facing the leader like he thought himself invincible. He didn't want to see Ron being severely beaten up…. By someone other then himself and George of course.

While it was obvious these guys didn't know they had been turned into turkeys exactly, something about the process didn't seem to go over well with them and he had a feeling they weren't going to make it out of there without a fight.

"Take is easy Ron" George whispered to him from his side.

"We don't want any trouble if we can avoid it". The head turkey had other ideas however

for he grabbed Hermione's arm and something knotted hard and tight in Ron's stomach. Hermione he knew was the first woman to be able to look after herself, but when this lout had grabbed her arm she had looked up at him, uncertainty in her eyes. She didn't know what to do. She could hardly take out her wand and curse him in the middle of a muggle pub. Panic gripped Ron in a way he'd only began to notice happened when it involved Hermione. He felt sick to his very stomach, and all he could think about was being back in that ministry room, being attacked by that brain. He'd wanted to go to her then and help her but he'd been helpless. The sick feeling he felt was fast being replaced by anger.

With a twist of his arm he jerked Hermione away from the guy, positioning himself in front of her. The biker shoved him roughly and Ron grabbed the que off the table turning to point it at him as he would have his own wand.

"Ron NO!" Gasped Hermione.

"You stay away from her" Ron shouted, ignoring her protests, just holding up that que at him as if daring him to move. The man sniggered making a crude comment at Hermione that made Ron's face burn with anger. He yelled out the worst hex he could think of just as the man grabbed the que from him, taking a swing at him and easily knocking him off his feet.

Hermione shrieked in horror, but was surprised by Ron grabbing the que on the ground and using it to block the next blow that came his way. He wasn't sure what he was doing or how, things were too blurry and confused, but he had to protect Hermione, and there was no way this guy was getting anywhere near her. Another blow sent him reeling, and then there was the sensation like he was flying through the air, which ended with a painful sudden meeting of the wall. Fred who had momentarily been stunned and impressed by Ron's actions let out a yell in anger, jumping hard onto the closest attacker while George quickly dragged Hermione to safety.

From where he lay on the ground Ron gasped in pain. He could barely breath and his foot was badly wrenched out of joint but he didn't even notice. He was angry and he was scared and he wanted nothing more than to be the one to stop their attacker. He pulled himself up ignoring the shooting pain, then realised he was struggling against someone that now had a firm hold on him. He looked up in surprise to see Bill was the one holding him, his grip gentle but firm. George was restraining an equally frustrated Fred who was very indignant that his 'test subjects' where just as difficult to handle as muggles as they had been as turkeys. Joe had joined in the frey by pinning two of 'turkey attacker's under his arms with plain disregard of their lack of breathing space.

Bill stood in front of his youngest brother holding him tightly, determined not to let him cause any more damage to himself. He noticed Hermione must have secretly used a leg locker curse on the third member of the gang because the way he was struggling to move on the floor looked suspiciously like that particular curse.

"I can handle it Bill" Ron struggled despite the pain, infuriated that his own brother would try to stop him.

"I can take them". Bill only held him tighter; he could see the blind fury in his brother's eyes and patiently waited for it to subside.

"It's over Ron. It's over!". He told him gently but firmly, forcing Ron to look at him.

"I can take them" he shouted back, the anger and desperation so overwhelming he could barely control the emotions burning inside him.

"Leave it Ron, it's over!"

"NO! I don't want anyone to hurt her!" He gasped desperately, shocked to realised how scared he was that something would perhaps one day happen to her. Something that he wouldn't be able to stop.

"Ron listen to me! No one is going to hurt her! No one! You hear me" Bill put a steadying hand on his shoulder, noting the tension in his body, as he struggled for a moment more, Bill could feel Ron finally begin to let go, the tension ebbing from his body as he slumped into the grip of his older brother.

"I wanted to stop him. I wanted to protect them" Ron muttered softly, unable to meet his eyes.

"I know Ron" Bill pulled him closer, his eyes watchful for injuries. He was desperately relieved that Ron hadn't been more seriously hurt.

"I know you wanted to protect them and you did".

"Hermione is safe, Fred and George are safe (for now)" he added mentally,

"Ginny is safe, Harry is safe. We're all safe… and we'll all keep each other that way".

He felt the grip of tension run through Ron once more then slowly begin to relax. He hung his head, unable to meet the look on Bill's face. Bill looked over at Hermione who was standing tearfully to one side and nodded to her that it was ok. She came over quickly to help Ron, throwing her arms around him despite the fact he wouldn't even look at her.

"Come on you lot" Bill and George helped the struggling Ron whose foot was now turning a nasty shade of purple, and Fred who had acquired a very nasty bump to the head.

"If trouble doesn't find you people you will certainly bring it about yourselves won't you" His voice was neither harsh nor accusing as Percy's would have been, and rather than berate them he gently led his brothers and Hermione back to the Leaky Cauldron…………...


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight:- Once a teacher, always a teacher.

"Ooooowww" Ron groaned in pain as he woke to find himself lying on a bed in a room that was undoubtedly in the Leaky Cauldron. He was very surprised when he heard an oddly familiar voice from a chair close by to his bed.

"How are you feeling Ron?" Remus Lupin said with a gentle smile handing him a glass of water.

"Sore" Ron muttered with a groan. His whole body was throbbing and felt he was unable to identify any one source of the pain. He also had the worst feeling that he was going to be sick.

"Augh, professor please, can't you fix this" he groaned miserably.

"I will Ron. But you would be wise to remember this feeling before you ever get involved with drinking with muggles again". Lupin watched him carefully for a moment before saying the spell that would cure him of all aches and pain.

"Ill never drink another muggle drink again" he muttered, moving to turn away from Lupin's watchful eyes, unsure how to face the man standing before him.

"I know I was a prat"

"I'm not here to scold you Ron. Although as I was once your teacher if you don't mind me saying I hope now you know the effects you won't allow yourself to be put into such a position again".

"No sir" Lupin smiled softly, Tonks was right. Sometimes Harry reminded him so much of James, and oddly enough Ron reminded him of himself at times. Like himself he could see that Ron was not confident in his own abilities and worth and sometimes allowed his behaviour to reflect that insecurity. Remus had arrived soon after they had gotten back from the pub, and upon hearing the story from Bill he felt compelled to at least offer Ron some somewhat teacherly advice. After having spent so much time in the company of the Weasley's over the last two years from school and of course the 'order', he almost felt like another part of their very extended family.

"I couldn't save Sirius either Ron". Ron looked up at him startled. This was about the last thing he would have expected Lupin to say to him.

"I couldn't stop you from being attacked, I couldn't help Hermione, Ginny, Nevielle, or Luna at the ministry. I couldn't save Harry from the pain of loosing his God Father. I couldn't save one of my best friends. I couldn't help Tonks…." He stopped suddenly, looking at Ron with a soft expression.

"I felt helpless. And I imagine so did you then, as you did this afternoon"

"Yeah" he muttered, looking away embarrassed.

"It's ok to be scared to loose the ones you care about Ron. We're all scared".

"I didn't see anyone else making a fool of themselves"

"Ah Ron, muggle's have their own potions that can have just as strong an effect as magic can have on a person's mind. But I would've thought by now you'd realise though Ron, it's when you're together as a team that you are stronger. I look at the amount of times you, Hermione and Harry have worked together to pull off something amazing, usually with the help of others somewhere along the way I might add. As a team we are stronger Ron. No one will be defeating Voldermort by themselves without the help of others. No one!".

"How did you know professor? I mean since….when I saw… when I couldn't help. I'd been feeling pretty useless" Ron asked him confused, until now he'd been unsure of how to describe how he'd been feeling even to himself.

"You're not alone in feeling helpless Ron. I only hope you'll believe me when I tell you that you are not useless, far from it. We all need to be reminded of our own worth at times Ron. That's what makes us human, and our friend's they are what keep us sane. Don't be afraid to fear for your friends, it's how you know that you care!

This reminds me. Tonks had the ingenious idea of conjuring a pool table in the middle of the Leaky Cauldron. She informs me that she will be quite happy to try and teach you the game before dinner".

"Professor…"

"By the way next time you want to learn about muggles Ron may I suggest a lesson from Harry or Hermione. Something tells me their lesson's would be less painful!".

"Yes Professor" Lupin had finally succeed in making him smile. Impressed by this effort he decided it was time to leave, he had a job to prepare for and he knew Tonks would try to talk him out of it if he didn't leave soon".

"Hey Professor" Ron called to him as he turned to leave.

"Thanks" Lupin gave him a parting smile.

"Once a teacher, always a teacher. I guess old habits really do die hard"……….


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter nine:- Having a flapping good time…..no pun intended.

"So Ron's going to be ok?" Ginny asked Bill as he came down stairs from checking on Ron.

"He'll be fine Ginny, I think he's more embarrassed than anything else". His eyes travelled to Fred and George who looked somewhat ashamed.

"I'll say this once. No one tells mum and dad, they have enough to deal with" his eyes twinkled at the relief in Fred and George's eyes.

"Further more you two lay off pranking Ron for the rest of this year at least and I'll consider forgiving you. And for Merlin's sake if you must make sweets that turn people into birds will you kindly remember not to mix magical bird feathers with ordinary muggle bird feathers. You're lucky your test subjects don't have permeant tails".

"We didn't actually check to make sure they don't" Fred muttered under his breath to Harry who couldn't help but smirk at the thought.

"Looks like you lot better go and help Tonks". Bill laughed as he saw that Ron had come downstairs as Lupin had told him and was now watching Tonks try to teach him how to play pool.

"She's over there trying to teach Ron to play pooland she knows less about it than he does!".

"This is a stupid game" Ron said decidedly as the others joined him at the table. Harry clapped him on the back to show him he was glad he was alright and indicating that he'd also be grilling him later.

"Oh Ron" Hermione took his hand, ignoring the fact that this made his ears turn a rather cute shade of pink.

She placed the cue in his hands, showing him how to aim at the ball.

"The cue doesn't move the ball Ron, you have to hit the ball with the cue".

"Oh…. No wonder if wasn't bloody working then" they all laughed at this and enjoyed learning the finer art of playing pool under Hermione's teaching. Surprisingly enough under Hermione's guidance Ron seemed to be the better out of most of the group. Even Harry was surprised to find that Ron was doing better than he, even though he had had prior experience.

"You taught him too well Hermione" Harry complained as Ron managed to sink two balls at once.

"It's all in your strategy Harry" Ron explained knowledgably, having considerably brightened as the game went on.

"You started this" Harry gripped at her "You make it stop". Hermione winked at Harry and moved to the other side of the table where Ron was preparing his next shot.

"Ron" she whispered softly in his ear, "I just wanted to thank you for protecting me today". She kissed his cheek gently, having the desired effect of throwing him completely off his game.

He turned around quickly, standing close enough to make her blush. "Oh you want to play that game do you Hermione?" he challenged with a surprisingly disarming smile that was making breathing very difficult at present. He handed her the cue and continued his smirk as she tried to make her own shot with Ron standing just too damn close for comfort. Fred and George howled with laughter as a very red faced Hermione missed her own shot and retired defeated back to her own side of the table. Ron and Ginny easily won the game and all retired to dinner with much laughter and talk of going back to Hogwarts.

Remus watched them from the shadow of the archway leading out to Diagon Alley with a smile upon his face.

It wasn't apart that they would defeat the evils of this world but together, a team, and a family. No matter the trials life threw at them it was the times like this, with their laughter and friendship that Remus knew they would all make it through this dark time, some how, he was sure they would all make it together!

THE END

(For now! Stay tuned for more 'Lessons in Muggle Studies')

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I know, I know, probably very corny but hopefully it made someone somewhere in the world smile!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE could you be kind and review my story! I would greatly appreciate it! I'm a beginning writer and really appreciate any advice anyone wants to give me! Don't be harsh though please, I'm only new!


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